Operation Hole in One, which would not have any military involvement, is said to be the brainchild of George.W. Bush -the previous president of the United States of America. Bush, it is rumoured, seems to have been inspired by the Bollywood flick My Name is Khan, running to packed audiences in the US. Mr. Bush-with a penchant for out-of-the-box thinking as was evidenced during his tenure when he decided to attack Iraq to wipe out terrorists in Afghanistan- is said to have been touched and deeply influenced by the ability of the human mind to transcend all barriers in the face of love as portrayed in the movie . This particular scheme seems to have struck Mr. Bush in the middle of a scene when the lead protagonist of the movie finally seeks out the President of the USA as demanded by his wife and screams out, "My name is Khan and I am not a terrorist" . Conspiracy theories however suggest that Bush has not been one bit enamoured by the decision to award the Nobel Peace Prize to his successor and wants to have a shot at himself and hence this ploy.
The FBI, it is believed, has already colluded with Elin Nordegren, Woods' wife after approval from Barack Obama, who it is suggested, sees this as a great opportunity to cut down on military spends and thus enhance spendings on bonuses of Wall Street executives who are still struggling to get back to their feet in the aftermath of the recession. The pact would have Elin accepting Tiger back into the house only after seeking out Bin Laden and conveying the message, "My name is Woods and I am not a sinner" which would help the US track down Bin Laden at the same time.
It is also rumoured that Tiger was reaching out to the global community when he said, "I have a problem and I need help" as part of his telecast 'apology'. The FBI is also supposed to be working behind the scenes on this and is in the process of building up a grand coalition. The U.K Government is said to be working hard on the wives of John Terry, the England football captain and Ashley Cole, the Chelsea left-back in their efforts to launch another parallel operation code-named 'Operation Ball on Goal'. Bill Clinton has also thrown all his weight behind Tiger Woods and has promised to help him out given his experience in international diplomacy and sexual escapades. Back home, the Ministry of External affairs has solicited the help of disgruntled politician Amar Singh (now without a party) and disgraced Andhra Governor N.D. Tiwari given their proven track record. The Shiv Sena/MNS combine is apparently regretting the protest that they had launched at the launch of the movie as it has boomeranged badly on them in the absence of a Marathi Manoos in the Indian contingent.
Sponsors who had ditched Tiger in the aftermath of all the controversies are said to be keen to get the Tiger back on board and are willing to offer revised deals to help Tiger support this noble cause. The Al-Qaeda is said to be in a state of panic over the Tiger's video-taped recording, something which had been their trademark till now. Bin Laden, reports Al-Jazeera has also posted a series of advertisements in various Matrimonial columns under various monikers to keep ahead of the Tiger in the numbers game. However, there is little doubt about the fact that the Tiger on the prowl has managed to unnerve the Al-Qaeda more than the army action by the US over all these years.
